What Made Me Connect with Life...Again

 

Hi! It's currently start of the BER months! I'm writing this blog during one of my free times in between virtual class hours of September 6, 2021. 

It has been a long journey since the start of the pandemic and still, the ending seems vague and complicated. Going through college and paving senior year during the pandemic is not as easy as memorizing the back of our hands. Clearly, it's physically, emotionally, and mentally exhausting. 

When circumstances doesn't spark interest in you at all, your world feels like an emotion of trauma and dire loss. You find yourself blankly staring at a wall somewhere without moving. Life was so hard and without fully being aware, it feels like I am at the peak of desolation and unattachment. Life wasn't as lively as it was before. 

One moment I woke up and although physically I am present but everything feels heavy to the point of emptiness. 

With all these negativities that are spreading right through me, I learned that it can't go on forever. Emptiness may be dangerous and scary but filling in it with all sorts of your small details that others might not find interesting at all is a good move. 

So here I am, after detaching for months, I'm back at writing. Writing might not be great for some but it is for me. 

I started to listen to music particularly SAL and HC. Others might feel that my playlist is boring but it describe a piece of me. 

I installed Tiktok, by the way. I realized there's a safe space on Tiktok for artists like me and it's not cringy at all. I know I know, I've been equipped with the thought that I won't ever install Tiktok because I remember calling it cringy but it turned out okay. I realized that we all should normalize changing perspective. We are normal people; capable of learning and growing at the same time. 

I also invested feels in a local loveteam famous for their tagline DonBelle. DonBelle made me live again with the reality of love. They connected me to the absolute truth that love is like lightning. And if I'd find myself grasping for the explanation of the metaphor, I cannot. The reality of it is deep. Like love, as always.

 DonBelle is not just a fairytale kind of romance. It happened to me quickly. And thank you because DonBelle helped me connect again with the simple and little things. Once again, I felt like breathing. 

What made me connect with life really is recognizing everything that I am feeling. May it be in a good and bad light, life is still good. If we only learn to recognize happiness right around us, we can breathe again.